Everrrryyy time I look at myself in the mirror and say to myself "I'm going to loose *insert an overzealous amount of weight here*" my brain says to myself:
Being the cynic I am, I accept defeat before it's happened:
And any attempts at working out make me feel like this:
Then my friends are all like:
And between that and seeing 50 instagramed pictures of people's salads on facebook #with #hashtags #for #every #fucking #ingredient, I loose my sanity a little:
But then I start hitting my stride suddenly. I no longer crave pop or beer or sweets. No amount of
chocolate or cookies or high fructose corn syrup can tempt me! My pants fit better and I don't sweat after walking more than 10 minutes any more!
Then it's some stupid person's birthday or something and I feel socially forced to ingest sugar in some capacity and I return to my normal state:
And eventually... this just becomes my response again to dieting, until 5 months later, where I decide it would be a good idea again, and I repeat this whole ungodly process.
Somebody Photoshop me.. like in real life. That would be just dandy.
